...through the eyes of a mum
They told me being a mum would be challenging. What they didn't say was what "challenging" was or meant. Having been a child once maybe they thought that I knew or maybe its just not talked about.
No one says how it feels when your child screams "I hate you" or what its like to drop them off at school upset. AND if you don't leave them crying at the gate and take them home instead the principle will call and make you feel like even a worse mother, as though they have some say on how to raise your child.
Well, I will tell you.
For me it feels like the bottom has fallen out of the world, like everything is screaming at me, my heart is torn open. I search for the right things to say and do, knowing that only time, love and self forgiveness will heal this.
I would love to say this was all in the past, that I no longer have this in my life but it wouldn't be true. My kids are in their tweens on the cusp of teenagers, pushing and pulling against life... and their parents. It's beautiful and heart wrenching at the same time.
Honestly even with my training I get it wrong all the time!
As the blasts subside I reflect, I try to see where it all went wrong, what I could have done differently. I take a big breath as I begin to journal and release it all on to the paper. Often this starts with pages of swear words scrawled over and over again. It calms after awhile when my ego settles down allowing love and forgiveness to come through.
This is the important part SELF FORGIVENESS
+ Knowing that you did the best you could in the situation with the knowledge and the tools that you had at the time.
+ Trusting that this is part of both of your journeys and that you will both grow from this.
+ Remembering that everyone is doing what they FEEL IS RIGHT for them in the moment.
Will holding onto this suffering help either of you?
I invite you to forgive yourself for choosing the fear response in that moment and in this moment choose love instead.
What is the loving response?
Often I have so much resistance to the loving response at first, but from the bottom of my heart it is the quickest and most healing way to realignment.
We can't stop our children from growing and experiencing life. Just like us they are here to LIVE the lessons of this beautiful earth school we are in.
What we CAN do is practise returning back to a loving, open and understanding state through self forgiveness. An inner space where we think clearer and operate from the heart.
and... we CAN teach our children self compassion and healing by forgiving ourselves and them. Be the guide you wish you had growing up.
So yes, we still have energetic outbursts in our home, however, through intensional growth and self forgiveness practices we are ALL learning to hold space for each other as we experiment and to TRUST the container we have built.
#rise #katejoneslife #change #nzmum #womenscoachnz #womenscircles #feeling
#fearintolove #day1 #bethechange #selflove #chooseyou #gratitude #loveyourlife
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